Bangkok: Thai artist Blue Dean has been painting for most of his life, and speaking with him, it never felt like something he simply decided to pursue. Painting seemed deeply tied to who he is and how he moves through the world. There was a steadiness to the way he talked about it too, clear on what mattered to him and just as clear on what didn't. What stayed with me most was how certain he seemed in the kind of artist he wants to be. He's slowly building a life around it, one that, in his words, looks like sitting in his studio, inviting people over, and talking. And that's exactly what we ended up doing.
We shared stories, thoughts and ideas, and music we had been listening to. We also found out the most exciting coincidence of all: we share the same birthday too! Delighted by the discovery and perhaps living up to our zodiac sign a little too well—the monkey—I spent part of the afternoon trying my hand at his climbing wall, which stretches all the way into the attic. It was an easy, memorable day spent with a new friend in a space he's built for painting and conversation.
How long have you been painting?
As a career, I think it’s been about 15 years which is almost half my life. But I’ve liked painting since I was a kid and I never stopped.
And what has it been like dedicating so much of your life to painting?
I love it. I think it can be really hard sometimes for people because being an artist isn’t easy. There’s a lot of internal fighting that comes with it. For example, I know what people want, and even though that’s not the type of art I want to make, sometimes the world doesn’t care about that. So you have to not care too much about what other people expect, be true to who you are, and pursue whatever feels right to you. That’s something I really respect about Juli [Baker and Summer].
That’s something I really admire about Juli too. How about yourself? Has it ever been hard to stay motivated to keep doing what you want to do?
Not at all. It’s easy to stay motivated and inspired because I love making my art. There are so many reasons that could have made me stop, but I enjoy it too much for those reasons to matter.
I’ve always pictured this kind of life for myself as an artist too and I’m happy that I’m not actually too far from that vision. I want to be able to sit in my studio, invite people over, and talk. If whatever I’m doing now helps me move closer to that vision, I’m happy. So to answer your question, there will always be moments where you reach a junction and have to decide between one thing or another. If choosing one option means losing a part of who I am or moving away from the life I’ve imagined for myself, I know it’s not for me.
You seem really clear on what you want as an artist.
Yeah, it’s easy for me to stay focused. Sometimes when I talk to people about this, I can tell that they want to be too many things.
It’s inspiring to hear that you move with so much conviction and clarity. When things do get tough, is there anything you do to get through harder times?
If things get tough, normally I rest. Then I would take time to organize my space and my upcoming plans and priorities. By then, I don’t let myself worry too much about the future because I’ve done my best.
Have you always trusted your own instincts this much?
I think so. I have a stubborn core, so I don’t really listen to people much. And I don’t argue, I just do. When someone says or suggests something, I don’t feel the need to win the conversation. I’ll just do what I want to do. That said, I don’t care about most people, but there are a few people I really want to understand my work.
Why is that?
Everyone has their background, right? Growing up, there will be core memories, problems or fears we face. For me, when I was younger, I had to prove myself all the time. I was very emotional and people were often worried I would grow up to be a bad person or do bad things. I knew I didn’t have bad intentions. I just felt a lot of emotion and when I expressed it, people would sometimes get scared and misunderstand me as being aggressive. So I learned to be calm, polite, and quiet and show people that I’m not this person they think me to be. I think this is partly why I want certain people to understand what I do.
Has that shaped the way you make work?
I started to use my art as a way to understand myself more. When I face problems, I use art to rearrange my thoughts, almost like cleaning up a room. You take everything out, sort it, and then put it back in. I do something similar with painting. I take all my thoughts out, try to make sense of them, and put them back together on the canvas. The act of making art has helped me understand myself a lot more.
Thank you so much for sharing. With everything you’ve lived and learned in your 15 years as an artist, navigating the creative highs and lows, what would you tell your younger self? Is there anything you think you would have wanted or needed to hear back then?
There’s nothing I’d say to my younger self, and it’s not because I’m perfect, but because I’m far from it. I think it’s best to accept the present. There are reasons for everything, and what happened in the past may have led to something good now.
Instagram @blue__dean
Vulnerable Works is about the quiet courage of making. At its core, this project is deeply personal. Through these conversations, I look for perspective and ways to navigate feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and the tension between vision and reality. These stories weave my reflections with those of the artists, offering a glimpse into the process, the trust it demands, the triumphs that keep us going, and the vulnerability inherent in creating. Sometimes I pick up a little more like the songs that fill their studios and bits of their daily routines.
Next, read about Juli Baker and Summer—it’s no secret we’re both great fans of hers!